Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Oh annie, I'm not your daddy...

I have just returned from a medicinal ale or two and, in a moment of weakness, I turned on the TV. I simply cannot believe the number of channels showing unattractive people having sex. Ok. I'm not gods gift. And whilst I have personally have found every girl I have made love to attractive, I accept that they may not be to everyones taste. So, in fairness to the nation, I don't have my love life broadcast on national TV. Ugly sex on telly is wrong. Sorry. I pay my licence fee. I expect some quality. If I want ugly people porn I can go out and buy it. And either learn german or get subtitles. If I'm channel hopping I expect any naked, pumping, bodies to be good ones. No more ugly people sex. At least not before midnight.

Monday, March 26, 2007


Well three quarters of a successful weekend. I got my new circular patio down. Ok, its not quite as level as one might want. But its down. And I finally connected up the bathroom lights. And one of them works! Planted my new yew tree and pricked out my marigolds. Slow progress, but progress never the less. And the other quarter of the weekend? Drunk. Falling down, as a skunk drunk. Not pretty or clever. But sometimes Bacchus summons me and I have to answer the call.
So I awoke this morning with a decidedly unhappy back. I’m just not designed for manual labour. Still it took my mind off the hangover. I seriously considered calling in sick. But we have the customer in at the moment and that means Free Lunch – wahey. Today’s buffet included tuna profiteroles. A unique and not entirely pleasant eating experience.

On an entirely different subject., Don’t blackbirds look peculiar when they run? Never noticed before but they kind of lean forward & then let their legs try and catch up. Its not a good look. Use your wings and stop looking so foolish little birds.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Pricking out

I cunningly sowed my seeds at different times so that I wouldny have thousands of seedlings to prick out all at once. Of course, they have all germinated together and I hove thousands of seedlings to prick out all at once. ho hum.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Its not often I actually earn my money. About three weeks every two years I work my nuts off & justify my easy existence. Unfortunately that time is now. See, last time this happened it was fine. Not pleasant, but fine. But I have turned the corner. Two years of PC solitaire, age, and the occasional pint of hobsons has told on me. Working for a living is harder than it once was. OK. I can do the work stuff. Working weekends. Fourteen hour days. No worries. Its not for long. I will be golden boy & then its another two years of the easy life. Unfortunately, there is a brief gap between work and sleep. oh Boy. Brief it may be, but it can last a lifetime.

Tuesday. Its 5.30 am. I approach the car with a view to being in Tamworth by 6.30 am. It seems that the previous night I left the car door open. I have a condensation problem. OK. Not the best at 5.30am but I kind of smear the windows with the sleeve of my jumper, put the heating on full & set off. I'm cruising along the A5 at a steady 60. No traffic. The today program on radio 4. Its OK. Of course the cat in my passenger seat is a worry. CAT??? There is a cat in my passenger seat!!! Its not happy. To be honest, nor am I. I return home (because, although in principle I hate cats, in reality I cannot just eject one on the A5). Remove the cat, which actually sounds easier than it is. Off to work.

Tuesday. 8.30pm. I get home. Not the best of days. Its dark. The aged contents of the slow cooker smell of death. no matter. Water the green house & straight to bed. The other weekend I moved some small acer trees. I may have mentioned this. You'd expect that after trees had been moved, soil redistributed, and assuming that mass is constant at the sub light speeds at which I typically operate, the net effect on the height above sea level would be negligible. But somehow I have been left with a hole. About 3 x 3 by 2 foot deep. And it lies between my back door and my greenhouse. OK. I fell in it. I expect that. I was covered in dirt, slightly sore, it was waiting to happen & it did. That's fine. Joss. Karma. But having watered the greenhouse I make the return trip. And Fall in the Damn hole AGAIN.

I have no idea what the point of this post is, but sympathy would be nice.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

do wah diddy

Gone are the damp and dreary days of february. What an unpleasant month that is.
Now we have March. Damp and dreary, but somehow better. My bedding seedlings are starting to come up, the Spiders are starting to gain control of the woodlouse population boom that seems to have happened at chez rich & there is frogspawn in the pond. By the bucket load. It makes you wonder how such a small creature produces so much stuff. It must be the biological equivalent of expansion foam. A female frog seems to produce three or four times her own volume of spawn. Something for us to ponder on.

Since upgarading to new blogger all my blogger instructions are in German. If anyone knows how to reset this do share. Or I could just buy some tight leather shorts & an accordian.

And finally, Heres a picture of me thet Evil lord merk took At the Crown. Proof that the ninth pint of Hobsons melts your head...

...ahh. No there isn't, because: Um Fotos hochladen zu können, müssen Sie die allgemeinen Nutzungsbedingungen akzeptieren. apparently

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Ok. I have been a blogshy slacker. Apologies.

So whats new with OMR I hear you ask. I had a week off to do the garden. Except that I was summoned in to work for two days. Oh Joy. Still, I made some progress. I moved two trees. Ok small trees but never the less, it took some digging. Sorted out 3 beds & barked them so they should be low maintenence. Moved a ton of gravel. wished I hadn't. I'm not really built for shovelling gravel. I also spent a day at a huge garden center with old Bob. I spent money I didnt have on assorted shrubs & ate the Biggest slice of carrot cake in the history of, erm, well carrot cake I suppose. Then we found out that its an error to buy plants that are larger than the inside of your car. Bob had a yew tree resting on his head for the return journey.

I have also had my hall decorated. Looks good. So now I need to get curtain rails back up. But that also applies to my new and lovely bathroom. And thats been on the list for a month. I may do that tonight, depending on when I leave work.

Ah, work. The nice new defect management job I lined up didn't happen. No, my boss left & I inherited the poisened chalice that was his role. So, first day, its 6.30 in the evening & I am tidying up some loose ends and prepareing for a client meeting on friday. Bang. There is a one second power glitch. Every server in the building crashes horribly. We lose all the test environments & I spend all friday in client meetings looking like a complete ass. So, off to a good start.

So todays sunday. And I am in Tamworth. 'Don't worry' they said. 'It will all be working by sunday' they said. How can I put it politely? Erm. Nothing is working. and, erm, BOLLOCKS !!!