The heating at chez rich is a little temperamental. And once again it has decided not to heat upstairs. However, the downstairs radiators compensate by glowing a dull red & the warmth percolates up. Sort of. And not in the fairy princess room as its above the party room. Which has no radiator. So its freezing in there & I have the folks coming to stay at Easter.
However, whilst lacking in heating in the modern sense, the party room does have a big black cast iron wood burner. With a back-boiler that supplements the heating. It has stood unused for two years. But firing it up will, surely, heat up the place & might even kick the heating back into life.
So, I pile in the kindling & newspaper and a few logs, open the vents and lob in a match. The amount of smoke is truly impressive. It billows out, fills the party room, rolls into the hall & up the stairs. Everywhere is filled with smoke, except by the looks of it, the wood-burner chimney.
So I run round opening windows & shutting doors. And throw a damp tea towel on the fire. Which simply makes things worse. So I shut the wood-burner doors, close the vents and let it die a smouldering death.
So, the house is not just cold any more. No, now its cold and stinks of smoke.
As an interesting footnote. Whilst clearing out the wood-burner I discover a strange lever around the back that, yup, opens and closes the chimney flue. Well, you live and learn. I feel a rematch coming on.