Sammy the sprout, freebooter & buccaneer.
Then he opened up his gigantic pirate ship. (some assembly required. Go ask your uncle Rich to help, because after a massive Christmas dinner & too much beer what he really wants to do is lie on the floor with three hyper active children, trying to fathom out some Chinese instructions whilst having his belly used as a trampoline). Finally it was together. But there, in the small print, ‘figures sold separately’. CRISIS. But to the rescue came Sammy the sprout, scourge of the seven seas. Islands were plundered, treasure was buried & the walnut nut men of iglypopo were captured, tortured & forced to walk the plank.
By the end of boxing day Sammy was turning a little yellow, despite sharing the shower with assorted children, and he was wearing a pair of Barbies pink sunglasses for reasons too complex to explain. But even though some pirates had been acquired, and a probably terminal visit to the guinea pigs had been threatened, he was still holding his own. Much to the annoyance of the poor abused nut men.
So basically, we spent two days at christmas playing with a brussel sprout. Remind me again why we spend money on toys.