Fortunately, I have learned to sleep with clenched buttocks.
I have spent a very large percentage of the last three days on the toilet. I fear the seat mark on the back of my legs may now be permanent. So bad has it been that I only managed one pint on Friday night before returning to the comfort of my bathroom. Finally, on Saturday I fasted. I figure if nothing goes in, eventually things must stop coming out. And today I felt much better. And I’m in the office & feeling peckish. So I decide to risk something. Now, with hindsight it possible that a jar of pickled herring was not the wisest of choices with which to break my fast. My stomach is currently gurgling away like a dodgy boiler.
posted by Old Man Rich at 12:37 PM
9 Comments:
Have you tried taking Acidophilus? Works like a charm for me. I was told to be sure to purchase it in the refridgerated section of the health food store. So give your butt cheeks a break!
You know the rules. If your body is giving you a hard time, take it out and trash it - show it who's in charge!
A healthy, large quantity of beer is the ideal solution to every digestive ailment...
...and ice-cold Andrex straight from the fridge!
Hope you feel better soon!
Peppermint. It helps settle the stomach so that you can eat something.
Hold on tight!
There is not much worse than pissing out your arse.
Hold on tight!
There is not much worse than pissing out your arse.
After seeing that title, I really thought it best to investigate further hahaha! Hope you`re feeling better.
tea
xo
Not seen down the boozer as much, which leads me to suspect that the consistency of your stools usually are made up with the wholesome goodness that is found in Hobson’s bitter. The lack of Hobson’s lately are not providing you with the roughages you need. So Dr Walt prescribes you 10 pints of Hobson’s daily, 4-5 times a week. Do not stop this medication when symptoms preside.
Pickled herrings? No wonder you feel ill. ;-) Hope you've recovered!
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