Thursday, July 13, 2006

Cricket, more art than sport?

Perhaps nothing sooths the soul more than cricket. The smell of fresh mown grass, the gentle sound of willow on leather, polite applause, sun warmed beer and good manners. But best of all, the soft inane babble of the commentators, that seems to harken back to an earlier, simpler time.

Some of my favourite BBC commentary from the first day of the test...

"Inzamam bent down there like an old man inspecting his marrows."

“Collingwood has shaped his stubble into a golden goatee for this match, but his efforts are rather teenage compared to the mature beards on display from Inzamam and Afridi.”

A bad start for England's new captain - he gets an inside edge to an Umar Gul inswinger and absorbs the full pace of the new ball on the Strauss family jewels

“The partnership is now up to 93, and three large men in the stands wearing Hawaian shirts tuck into fresh pints to celebrate.”

"I opened up my computer yesterday and everything worked perfectly. I did the same again today and it asked me for a password. Can anyone explain why?"

“Michael Vaughan rises from his seat in the executive box, is handed a pair of crutches and limps away like a Dickensian villain.”

“The post-lunch period has witnessed an immediate and dramatic increase in the number of old men falling asleep in the pavilion.”

“Depending on your point of view, it's either a gripping chess-like battle or a mid-afternoon yawn-fest”

Kaneria is coming on for a quick twiddle as Pakistan push for a fourth wicket. He licks his fingers as Collingwood eyes him calmly from the other end.

“Inzamam did the double teapot at slip when he saw that bit of fielding from Kaneria”

Collingwood, perhaps aware that virtually the whole pavilion is now asleep, livens things up with two fours pulled over midwicket

Delight in the TMS commentary box as a delivery of pork pies arrives just as Mike Gatting comes on air.

England's number four is wearing heavy white lipstick - sorry, sun-screen - despite a complete absence of sun all morning. It makes him look a little New Romantic - or, taken as whole with his whites and pads - like a photo negative of a cricket-loving Goth

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gatting sure loves those pies.

The mental imagery is so sharp, I can see a worried looking Inzamam doing "the double teapot", as his bowlers fail to aggrevate the calm goateed Collingwood.

But Rich, not cakes from Chipping Sodbery Women's Institute yesterday then?

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh, one of lifes highlights was the radio 4 commentary where an entire 3 hour rain delay was spent discussing the cake Mrs Brice had sent them & wether it was possibly even better than last years. Truly magnificent.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you couldn't invent this stuff...

1104: Great excitement in the TMS studio as the first cake of the day arrives, accompanied by a letter with no less than three kisses.

11:13 AM  

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