With age comes stupidity.

See, I had a lot of beer last night. Not by choice, you understand. I am normally a man of moderation. But Merkin & Monkey were in. (and the Chin, but he displayed evidence of willpower & left early). And I was lead astray.
So this morning I was not bright and breezy. I needed a shower. And in my slightly less than 100% state I forgot that Mr Austin, builder to the aristocracy, had stained the floor of the spare room & shower room on Sunday. And it was not yet dry. So the soles of my feet are now brown. On the plus side however, it means they are now protected against woodworm.