Ho Ho Ho, and a very Merry, erm, Autum to you all.
Oh My God. I have just walked through Telford town centre. Animatronic elves with deformed smiles abound. Idiots in ‘seasonal’ fancy dress leap out from shop doors clutching several forests worth of flyers. The war veterans huddle together, attempting to sell their paper poppies amid endless wreaths of holly and tinsel, actually quite pleased that they lost their eardrums on the beaches of France and so cannot hear the endless Christmas muzak.
Its not even halfway through November, you Cretins!!!
Now I am up for celebrating the winter solstice with the next bloke. The nights begin to grow shorter, there is signs that the winter will end. Yup, by all means dance in the snow, naked except for some carefully positioned mistletoe. I intend to. And if you can find an attractive virgin to sacrifice, or even just a game girl up for a midwinter frolic, then so much the better. But do it on December the 21st. Not halfway through autumn. Sheesh, the trees still have leaves on.
And if you wish to celebrate the birth of a Jewish radical on December the 25th, great. Ok, the Census of Herod was in October. (October 4BC. and being born four years before your born is a neat trick). But lets not be picky, the Christ Mass is ok. So I shall be celebrating his massage of tolerance, kindness and generosity to my fellow man by consuming whole turky’s, watching my nephews & niece receive hugely expensive presents that the neither want or need, and sleeping through the queens speech in proper C-of-E Christian fashion. But I shall do it then. Not Now.
Meanwhile. I will not purchase anything from a shop that has bloody Yule tat going on before December. Hah. Take that you evil exploiters of fat old men with white beards (and probable reindeer buggerers).
Its not even halfway through November, you Cretins!!!
Now I am up for celebrating the winter solstice with the next bloke. The nights begin to grow shorter, there is signs that the winter will end. Yup, by all means dance in the snow, naked except for some carefully positioned mistletoe. I intend to. And if you can find an attractive virgin to sacrifice, or even just a game girl up for a midwinter frolic, then so much the better. But do it on December the 21st. Not halfway through autumn. Sheesh, the trees still have leaves on.
And if you wish to celebrate the birth of a Jewish radical on December the 25th, great. Ok, the Census of Herod was in October. (October 4BC. and being born four years before your born is a neat trick). But lets not be picky, the Christ Mass is ok. So I shall be celebrating his massage of tolerance, kindness and generosity to my fellow man by consuming whole turky’s, watching my nephews & niece receive hugely expensive presents that the neither want or need, and sleeping through the queens speech in proper C-of-E Christian fashion. But I shall do it then. Not Now.
Meanwhile. I will not purchase anything from a shop that has bloody Yule tat going on before December. Hah. Take that you evil exploiters of fat old men with white beards (and probable reindeer buggerers).
posted by Old Man Rich at 2:05 PM
5 Comments:
You will be celebrating Christs massage? nice x
This may be a personal best for most typo's in a rant.
mind you, if JC wants to give me a back rub...
emma started her xmas list today,she seems to have settled for an average cost of 100 pounds an item.mat is to excited about twickenham to even function properly. .bro
I'm all in favor of expanding the Halloween season. It would give me an excuse to hang a skeleton in our front yard in the middle of summer to scare away the neighbor kids.
No, it isn't very pleasant, is it? Don't get frostbitten dancing out there in the snow.
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