Saturday, August 26, 2006

Colours

Green toilets are wrong. Toilets, sinks and baths should be white.
As should fridges, washing machines and the like. That’s why they’re called white goods. See. WHITE goods.
Stereo’s & TV’s. Black. Anything else is wrong. Silver? NO. Black.
Computers? Grey of course. Black is just about acceptable.
Walls magnolia, ceilings white. Quite frankly they shouldn’t actually produce emulsion paint in any other colour. It just lets the tasteless idiots get it wrong.
Blokes dress shoes. Black. Brown shoes are evil. In fact any brown clothes are pretty much bad. (with the possible exception of really old crusty brown jumpers, which can be warn for gardening, and hiking boots which must be brown).

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like brown shoes, hate black shoes.
Brown, for the man about town!

5:22 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

The only green toilet I've seen was a Johnny-on-the-spot portable.

5:48 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

When I moved into my house, I stripped off the god-awful wallpaper in my living room and kitchen (cutesy little flowers, I think that should not be allowed either) to find that the walls underneath were PINK. Pepto-bismol pink. It was horrible. More horrible than your odd green toilet.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

On the 13th September I come to Telford for 2 weeks...

Welcome me like an old brother!

11:40 PM  
Blogger BigDaddyMerk said...

Two fucking weeks? :)

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

B-but I LIKE brown (and my kitchen appliances are black)!

10:59 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Merk: yes, two fucking weeks in your endz.

HA HA HA!

8:30 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hey, did you say you are a fellow myspace whore?

3:02 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

I'm kinda fond of stainless steel. Well, not for the shitter, but definately for the kitchen appliances. You're spot on though about the green - definately not. Especially that avacado baby-shit green they used to make toilets and the like out of and stuck in every house imaginable a while back. One must question what they were on when that color arose and everyone cheered. Kids these days!

As for the open mic in a bar in town idea...
I have tried in probably thirty bars in town but none are willing to do it when there is a comedy club in town, even though said comedy club has no open mic night. Thing is, I'm sorta persona non grata in the comedy club in town as my sense of humor is a little high brow for the people here that think Carrot Top and Jeff Foxworthy are blessed with funny from God herself. I tend to be a little too much for them in the eyes of the club owner and that makes it almost impossible to get stage time. At the end of the day, it's still a business first so I'm shit out of luck. Bill Hicks had the exact same troubles here in Texas and throughout the south that I do. Of course, if I die and then become well regarded, that will still be all good for me. I'd rather be relevant fifty years from now than funny this afternoon. But that's just the way this nigger rolls. I love you, brother.

Until later...

10:12 AM  
Blogger Tea said...

Good....... glad to hear about the green toilet.
I have a silver tv though. They don`t seem to make many in black. Black is what I wanted. Silver definately doesn`t match anything. I put a black velvet cloth over the top and sides. Now it just looks like a silver tv with a black velvet cloth on it.

tea
xo

12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to Telford once.

I also do not like green bathroom suites.

It's a small world.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

Rich, I had no idea you were "good with colours" ;)

6:01 PM  
Blogger mal said...

I have a bit of trivia for you. I work for an industrial coatings company and our top 4 commerical colors are blacks...imagine that *L*

8:11 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home