Evolution or act of god?

See, I was going to explain about how your granny was an Egyptian tea lady. And trust me, its fascinating stuff. But I feel we need to clear up the whole evolution or creationism thing first. Both. Pretty much. Darwin was right. If you put Giant tortoises on different islands for a few million years you get different tortoises. But not goats. Take wolves. We did. And in a very short time you have dogs. Great Danes and Chiwawa's. Pretty wide ranging. But basically still wolves. See, even if you buy the whole amoeba to man thing there is still that no life - life problem. Divine intervention, alien gamma ray, who knows. Certainly Darwin, Newton, Galileo, Einstein et al all went for the god option. And they're not blokes I feel I can argue with.
So if your view is that way back some god created a proto human Adam (and a few seconds later thought 'whoa, I better give him something to do with that before he wanks himself to death' and created a proto human Eve) well, I'm not objecting.
Even if you want to knock uninvited on my door, wearing an over pressed suit and over white teeth, and get me out of the bath to tell me that. OK. But don't then try to tell me that the world is two hundred and six years old because that's what it says in the bible. NO. Even if the bible is the word of god (and not a collection of bastardised folk tales mistranslated from the Jewish)its not a sin to believe its not meant to be taken literally.

Picture the scene. You're gods chosen people. You've been lost in the desert for a few decades, living of grubs. Things aren't great. So you pick the guy with the best beard to go up a mountain and have a word. And down he comes, a bit confused. "look, everything is made up of mostly nothing. But the bits that are something are lots of really small invisible atoms whizzing around. And these are made of even smaller invisible things called quarks that have different strangeness and charm and may be both a particle and a wave". And the guy at the back speaks up. Do you think he says: "So Moses, was there anything on resolving einsteinium and newtonian physics with regard to string theory and the role of relativistic time?". No what he says is: "Hey everyone, there's a great guy down the road who kills chickens and chants". And lo, the tribes of Israel are instantly reduced to one bloke who is just glad he didn't mention the bit about the world being a ball.

Now gods no fool. She's worked in advertising. She knows this won't work. So she thinks hell, I'll give them a few hints, a few guidelines, a massive brain and an incredible sense of curiosity. They'll figure it out. She must look down on suit teeth boy and wonder why she bothered. I just want to be there on judgment day when he turns up to find that god has six legs, shiny wing cases and is a forty foot high beetle. I reckon his expression would be magic, for the half a second before she bites his head off.