Karmic balance.

Many people strive for a wealth of good Karma. This is a mistake. If your bad you come back as a goat, if your very bad you come back as a rock. If your good you come back clever, prettier, wealthier. But if your very good you don’t come back. Calling it Nirvana doesn’t make it a desirable option.
In all things the universe strives for a balance. Too much good Karma in your life can be as dangerous as too much bad Karma. Your out of balance, the universe will be pissed, the fates will be gunning for you. The good do indeed die young. Or at least get shat upon big time. So, Karmic balance is required, ideally a bit on the good side but not too much.
Unfortunately this is hard to achieve. Bad Karma sticks like shit sticks to your shoe just before a wedding. Bad Karma is with you for life. That’s why you still feel guilty after all these years. It was bad. Its still bad. The bad Karma lingers. Good Karma however is fleeting. It felt good yesterday, you were happy and proud. Today you feel like a turd once more. Good Karma just doesn’t last. Like a fine ale, its gone surprisingly quickly and you want, no, need more. So in order to keep your Karmic balance you need to indulge in random acts of kindness. My estimated bad Karma level is ‘moderate’ and the fact that I don’t do that many bad things any more (lack of opportunity mainly) means my Bad Karma level is pretty static. So I have figured that about one random act of kindness a week should be about right.
One good act a week. Its tougher that it sounds. You go up to some strange old lady and offer to carry her bags. Chances are she’s gonna scream. She might even drop dead on you. This is not generating good Karma. Giving to charity ought to be a safe bet. But if you can afford it your not really being good. In fact, not giving if you can afford it is probably bad. So giving if you can afford it is just breaking even. And giving if you can’t afford it, well I’m not going there. Poverty sucks. So I’m struggling along not kicking cats and thinking ‘rock? That doesn’t sound so bad’.

But here’s a thought. I may not be able to get my Karma balanced but I can help others balance theirs. So, girls, just send me a few tasteful shots of yourselves in (or out) of your best underwear. You’ll make an old man very happy and earn a nice little bit of good Karma. And I, by looking at pictures of your scantily clad bodies will be helping your karmic balance. A good act. I earn Karmic goodie points too. Sometimes the universe is wonderful.