All Bound for Moo-Moo land

Apparently group of schoolchildren (aged 14 to 15) on an outward bound course called out the coastguard when they found their route meant crossing a field containing a group of that most deadly of predators – cows. Ok. I guess that if your from the city and have never come face to face with a cow before they are pretty big. But the coastguard? Cliff rescue, lost at sea, killer shark, ok, call the coastguard. But Cows? No. Call, well, I don’t know. Cowline? The Bovine defense leage? Captain Cow? Ok. I see the problem. No obvious point of contact. No doubt that nice Mr Cameron is already creating an opposition post for minister of cow defense. But until he gets elected you have to make do. But surely, you ‘ask Jeeves’ if cows are a life threatening condition. Google ‘deadly cows’. Contact the RSPCA or even, if the cows are giving you evil cow vibes, the police. But not the coastguard. Bah and Pah. The youth of today.

In other news I read that in order to promote a cleaner city, officials in xigong are paying a bounty on dead flies. Hmm. That’s not going to backfire horribly now is it.

A kidnapped lion has been freed in Gazza. A Welshman has returned from Canada for his friends wedding a year early. The UK’s biggest dog is unhappy with the media attention. Ditto Kate Middleton. There super-casino that was to revitalise Manchester now won’t.....Slow news day?

Hang on. What’s this I read? People with lots of moles age more slowly. Seriously. Apparently if you have large numbers of moles you will age more slowly than your less moley counterparts. Ok, massive increase in the risk of skin cancer, but given the complete lack of sunshine this summer I don’t see that as a major problem. Heh. I’m covered in moles. I have more moles than MI5. I am the mole man. I’m gonna live forever.

Unless, of course, I’m mauled to death by a killer cow.