Puffers
My friend Gary has rendered himself homeless. So he is staying with me until he sorts himself out. Given that he's had 40+ years to do this and not come close, this is a little worrying. Fortunately, Stinky the hedgehog (search the archives if you care) has been released back into the wild. But Puffers the tortoise is staying with us. And so far Puffers and I are getting on. However, everytime we (Gaz & I, Puffers doesn't drink, she's a tortoise) get drunk (most nights) Gary and I argue. Fortunately this in no way affects our friendship. Unfortunately I may have to kill him an bury him under the cellar floor.
posted by Old Man Rich at 8:48 PM
3 Comments:
Rich here's the way to deal with argumentitive people;
if a student behaves really badly, like the occasion when Tommy Smith threatened to kill the deputy head using his knuckleduster knife, or if they are very naughty for a sustained period of time – say six months - the Inclusion Team might arrange a trip to Alton towers for him and other ‘challenging’ students.
Our school is an inclusive school.
We are the toilet that never flushes.
All nutters welcome.
No questions.
No expectations.
Tommy Smith has ADHD.
What he needs is a dad, a stable home life.
Affection.
Boundaries.
Lots and lots of exercise.
Decent food and lots of sleep.
What he gets are burgers, electronic games that keep him awake 'til three or four most mornings.
And Ritalin.
And inclusion.
And his mum gets an extra £40 a week on top of her state benefits.
‘Sir,’ Malcolm puts up his hand a millisecond after shouting out the word.
‘Yes?’
‘If I tell you to fuck off, can I go to Alton Towers too?’
‘No. And don’t use bad language in my class, Malcolm.’
‘I was only quoting Tommy. And you said that quotations are evidence.’
‘Well, don’t use evidence in my class.’
‘Sir,' Malcolm persists, 'If I threaten to stab someone, can I go to Alton Towers then?’
I think for a moment.
The truthful answer would be Yes.
And your mother would get more money.
But Malcolm is a good kid, he’s quick and funny, and I’ll try to keep him on the straight and narrow, so I lie and tell him No.
from the "Indestructible metal dustpan maker"(fully welded)
I'v stopped arguing with Gary. I couldn't handle the fast pace of change to different subjects that the arguments took just as I was about to hammer the nail home. The good news is that he hates this "new me" and it frustrates the hell out of him.
Good to hear that Gary's place has been sold now. Does he know how good a friend you are offering him a place to stay? I'm sure he does, but has he said so? Make him say it! He'd hate that too.
Hope to see you both again soon.
TTFN
John J
dustpan man - The correct answer was - you can only go to Alton Towers if you stab Tony Blair. and lo - Tony is less smug, yob boy is in prison. everybody wins.
John, he's pathetically gratefull - I even have him washing up!!!
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