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So, the customer is having a few performance issues.
Rich (oh, thats me) can you go over to the customer and take some performance timings. (no question mark? uh, one of THOSE questions).
Well, erm, ok. Ever happy to oblige. But the complaints are pretty much design issues or antique PC problems.
Yes. We know. But we need to be seen to care. So buy a stopwatch. Shave. Put on a suite and go and be nice to the customer.
erm. Why me? Because you got in late and weren't in the meeting where we decided who had to go.

Fair cop. So I come home. Fish a suit or two out of the depths. And none do up around my waiste. Aint it terrible how things shrink. Lets hope there's a Marks & Spencers open early in Northampton.